I need help with this?

ok my mom and dad are divcored and we live in texas and i am spending spring break ith mom and going to micghain i am scared that she will try to run away wih me and i thought i should carry a knife and then i thought if i tryed to get out of he car and she grabed me and i pulled and she punched me i thought i could stab her then i relized it would kill her i am so sad when i think it i love her and all but she hurt me and my brother and dad what do i do